From: Upper Management
Let's discuss your issues.
As I'm sure you are well aware you have some problems with confiscating things that do not belong to you. In fact, you remind me of a girl that lived on my dorm room floor in college that had the same problem only hers involved clothing and hair straighteners. Yours seems to involve money and food, but here you are getting caught trying to drag the neighbor's dog toy underneath the fence. I knew you were up to no good when I glanced out the window.
I know you're proud, but I'm embarrassed.
You wear me out pug.