being real

I'm always real on my blog.  But truth be told I prefer to share the fun real stuff and leave out the sad real stuff.  I've prayed on this post over the last couple days and feel really called to share this realness going on in my life.  Trust me when I tell you I'd much rather share about pug dirtying up 6 yards of white fabric or talk about the Housewives of New Jersey, but I'll save that for another day.

Almost 4 years ago my dear sweet grandfather, my mother's father, committed suicide.  On that day my family was thrown onto a path we never knew existed and one we never wanted to be on.  We kept thinking this thing isn't supposed to happen; this isn't part of our journey.  But there we were left shocked, hopeless, alone and ill equipped.  It was a dark and long path friends.  But slowly we found our footing, my family got involved with Survivors of Suicide and received wonderful guidance and support and for the last two years my mom and dad facilitate their own groups to help other families walk that long ugly path.  I was driving home Sunday alone in the car and just praising God that we made it out and better yet stronger than ever. 

I tell you this back story, because the next night we received a phone call that our precious family friend of twenty two years committed suicide.  It has been a rough week.  She and her twin grew up with me.  All my childhood memories involve her and her laughter and that place I went to to remember all those good times feels so empty now.  We're left with a million whys...which won't get answered. 

I mentioned I really felt called to share and not as a poor family or whoa is us, but unfortunately it does exist and it effects WAY too many people.  If anyone has been effected please know we weep with you and I truly believe God does too.  If we can pray for you or someone you know on this path, please know my family would be honored to.

Thanks for listening to my heart today and I'll be back with a happier post quickly.