Glad I'm not my mailman

Over the past few weeks I have been seeing a number of doctors. No worries, it's not severe at all. I am just seeking out some second opinions. Anyhow, I had an appointment with a specialist last week. We were coming home early from the lake to make this appointment downtown, and the plan was that we'd swing by the house drop of boy and pug and then I'd head to the appointment. Well, no such luck a huge wreck delayed us by an hour so guess what the gang is coming with me.

I hop out of the car, say it should only be half hour tops. HAHAHA, no such luck. It truly turned out the be the longest wait I've ever had in a doctors office...can you say 2 hours? I was flipping out inside thinking about what a terrible wife I am to leave my husband outside with a dog in 100 degree weather. This was not happening.

Finally the doctor graced me with his presence. I thought of a few snide remarks to say about the wait, but thought to myself that Jesus would not do that so I bit my tongue. He did is doctor talk routine and I sat there pausing on ever big word looking for a dictitionary to fumble through for help. All I got was he will be doing some extensive labwork to examine the huffalumps, ompaloppas, and teletubbies in my system. Okay gotcha doc! So I feel very knowledgeable as I walk to check out. Mind you I am the only one still there because I enjoy my days at the doctors office where I have to wait the longest to get to read magazines.

I get to the check out lady and she says today's visit will be $180. What?? No no ma'am I have insurance. I only have a $15 copay. She then goes in to inform me that the $165 extra is for a pee test I have to take home. A pee test runs you $165 dollars now a days? There must be some mistake because you see I do not believe my toliet cost me that much. She glares at me so I fork over the money and walk out with my jaw dropped in shock of what I just spent $165 on.

I get in the car to my sweet and patient hubby and pug who kindly forgives the mishap and torture they just went through. He then asks how it went and what's in the box.
"Well apparentley this box is full of golden tickets because I just paid $165 to ship my pee in it"
"Do what????"
"Yes, the directions say I have to be pee in this cup then poor it in this test tube, freeze it and mail it off"
"GROSS your pee is going in our freezer"
"No the neighbors, yes our freezer"
"The one where we keep the hot pockets and ice cream?????"
"Yes! Right next to your vanilla ice cream"
"Well make sure it doesn't touch my ice cream"
"I"ll do my best baby...thanks for your concern"

And so dear friends, I successfully did my calling, which now sits in the freezer, which is now giggled out everytime boy opens the freezer, which I pray for our poor mail man which has to pick up such disgusting packages.